Revelations:

A little something I wrote at the beginning of my existential crisis-

This is the first time I've ever noticed that the government is silently manipulating the populace and stripping us of freedom and unity. PRIMAL CONCEPTS.
It seems as though I am denying myself the pleasure and unanswered questions that actions or substances not of myself may add to or subtract from my life, and in such a way, am rejecting a rich existence.
I used to think I was just a punk in sheep's clothing. Now my perspective makes sense.
Life, in itself, is existentialism. The illusion of knowing is an unhappy side-effect of self-awareness and our potential to please ourselves.
Now I understand the origins and characteristics of the atheistic view on the nature of the universe/nature. To start, I have to say that it is impossible to understand the true value of infinite. It is never ending. Two connected circles set on their sides. In this way, the universe has no beginning, as time has no beginning. Infinite stressed backward. And space and matter and every particle in the universe have always been and always will be. Never-ending. Never-changing. The big bang is only the precursor to the form of the universe as it is now for our existence. But the big bang is as changing as the cells in our body. It grows and expands with age, until it collapses in on itself by forces of attraction I am not entirely familiar with. And it sits with each element that will ever form in a relatively small area. The super heat and pressure form a super element, larger than we can possibly imagine. A unknown chain of chemical reactions occur within the element and the most powerful explosion possible occurs, and the universe reforms. Eternal rebirth.
In this way, God takes no part, but in the incomprehensible vastness of the UNIVERSE, it would not be unbelievable to assume that there exists somewhere in the vastness of eternity some consciousness who loves us.
It is hard to find a word that conveys the true nature of infinite.
It's time to move past thinking HOW and WHAT everything is, and then ask WHY... if we could apply the same scrutiny and energy to philosophy as we have to science, we could be an enlightened, rather than progressive, species.
Edit: The big bang would only apply to our universe and the matter in it. Not all the matter in existence. An endless sea of universes, perhaps interacting with each other as the galaxies of our universe do.
I find insanity to be a better therapeutic method than anger.
The powers that be want us to be, sheep. Unthinking, yet doing.
The entire universe will have changed drastically by tonight, but we treat every day the same.
That's what it is. Too many cops for too few problems.